Some mountain jokes for all mountaineers
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| Lunatic3. 04. 2012 12:40:11 |
A mountain guide explains life in nature, in the mountains, to a group of hikers.
He warns them about two animals they might encounter on the hike - the ibex and the chamois. He decides to show them how the animals vocalize. "This is how chamois call," he said, put two fingers in his mouth and whistled, "this is how ibex call" and whistled again.
"But I'm really curious how they get their front paws into their mouths!" one of the hikers replies (maybe she was even blonde).
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A couple on a trip. As they travel through a valley with mighty mountains rising above, the wife says: "Darling, how beautiful! I'm speechless!"
"Great! Then we'll stay here!"
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An older mountaineering couple walks along a mountain path, reminiscing about youth memories.
Husband: "Remember dear, here behind this fence you first gave me the flower of your love." Wife: "Of course darling, how could I forget those wonderful moments".
Husband: "Maybe you could repeat it today?"
Wife: "Why not, in memory of our youth."
After the mutual gifting the husband says to his wife: "My dear, today you were much more lively than 50 years ago." Wife: "Darling, how could I not be, 50 years ago it was an ordinary fence, today it's an electric fence."
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Mountain guide warns excursion participants: "Watch out not to fall into the abyss! If you do fall, look right - a magnificent view will open up!"
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Mountain hut is crowded, hikers sleep crammed on bunks.
In the middle of the night an 80-year-old mountaineer starts yelling: "Babo! Quick bring babo! I want babo now!!!"
Next to him a young guy says: "Dad, false alarm..... you're holding mine.."
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"Do you have an empty room?"
"Sorry all taken."
"What if English queen came?"
"Well then something would be found."
"Give me then what would be found, the queen surely won't come."
 
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| turbo3. 04. 2012 14:13:37 |
Group of young hikers in the Kamnik-Savinja Alps, in the evening before the hut, at the n-th beer. They praise each other among themselves quite loudly so that they can be heard, what they walked during the day. Then a gray-haired guy stands up and says:
When I was your age, I did Stol, Skuta and Baba in one day  
Kids, pardon, young hikers Humbly: yes sir, you were really good, no doubt, really good 
The guy replies:
yes, yes, Skuta for breakfast, on the table during lunch and on grandma in the evening 
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| janna3. 04. 2012 15:13:40 |
Oooo this really brightened my day ... Thanks. 
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| VanSims4. 04. 2012 18:18:01 |
A Scot (to be politically correct to inhabitants of our most mountainous area where we are often guests ) goes to the hills. Then slips into the abyss. After a while rescuers with all the equipment come to the abyss and ask: "Who are you?" They say: "From the Red Cross!" Scot: "I won't give anything, I won't give anything!"
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| francimedved4. 04. 2012 21:04:07 |
Trail markers come to a house past which the mountain path goes. In front of the house sits an older grandma. The marker asks her if they can draw a mark on her plum tree. She replies: Yes, but you know, I'm not always home.
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| lanževica6. 04. 2012 09:45:00 |
The youth were returning from the mountains. They met a farmer and asked him: "Can we take this shortcut to catch the bus at eight?" "Sure, sure!" he said. "If there's a bull on the pasture, you'll catch the one at seven too!"
"Mr. Doctor, yesterday going home I suddenly felt bad pain."
"Where exactly?"
"Between Triglav and Prehodavci."
A hiker orders a glass of mulled wine at the hut, the waiter brings four glasses.
"I ordered only one!" protests the hiker.
"Oh, sorry, this echo again!" apologizes the waiter.
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| VanSims6. 04. 2012 19:01:42 |
Two friends walking exposed path.
First says: "Here five years ago my mountain guide fell into abyss!"
Second: "Ooooh! That was tragic!"
First: "Not really! It was old torn some pages missing anyway planned to buy new one!"
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