A mountain guide explains life in nature, in the mountains, to a group of hikers.
He warns them about two animals they might encounter on the hike - the ibex and the chamois. He decides to show them how the animals vocalize. "This is how chamois call," he said, put two fingers in his mouth and whistled, "this is how ibex call" and whistled again.
"But I'm really curious how they get their front paws into their mouths!" one of the hikers replies (maybe she was even blonde).
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A couple on a trip. As they travel through a valley with mighty mountains rising above, the wife says: "Darling, how beautiful! I'm speechless!"
"Great! Then we'll stay here!"
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An older mountaineering couple walks along a mountain path, reminiscing about youth memories.
Husband: "Remember dear, here behind this fence you first gave me the flower of your love." Wife: "Of course darling, how could I forget those wonderful moments".
Husband: "Maybe you could repeat it today?"
Wife: "Why not, in memory of our youth."
After the mutual gifting the husband says to his wife: "My dear, today you were much more lively than 50 years ago." Wife: "Darling, how could I not be, 50 years ago it was an ordinary fence, today it's an electric fence."
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Mountain guide warns excursion participants: "Watch out not to fall into the abyss! If you do fall, look right - a magnificent view will open up!"
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Mountain hut is crowded, hikers sleep crammed on bunks.
In the middle of the night an 80-year-old mountaineer starts yelling: "Babo! Quick bring babo! I want babo now!!!"
Next to him a young guy says: "Dad, false alarm..... you're holding mine.."
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"Do you have an empty room?"
"Sorry all taken."
"What if English queen came?"
"Well then something would be found."
"Give me then what would be found, the queen surely won't come."
