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| gorolazka5. 09. 2018 09:25:04 |
What bothered me most, primoza, is this - he doesn't go with you on vacation to Africa, doesn't go with you for three weeks on vacation to Tyrol, and you're surprised that then Žan doesn't want any more contact with you?
And if you type that he wants to do mountain biking, but you don't know enough about it, start working on getting to know the mountain biking sport better and neglect the mountains and climbing a bit... Do something for your child while he is, if he is, willing to give you a chance.
I strongly hope that Žan doesn't read this forum.
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| SamoK5. 09. 2018 09:38:09 |
OK, Primož, you're not guilty at all that Žan is such a lazy bum and malcontent. He only has himself to blame because he didn't obey you in your wisdom.
Are you satisfied now? Come on GMAH!!!
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| UB775. 09. 2018 09:55:19 |
I also look at the matter from the same perspective as gorolazka. You excluded Žan from the "perfect family lineup", as you like to write in your posts. Now you're publicly gossiping here about his life, feelings and family relationships. But you don't reflect on the fact that he's still just a CHILD, sensitive due to changed family circumstances, but you amplify that by constantly excluding him from your family life because he has a couple of extra kilos of fat. That says quite a bit about you as a father, especially since you wrote in one of the previous posts that you're no longer responsible for him. As a father you're responsible for him your whole life!!!! And that means you don't drag him to the mountains if he doesn't feel like it, but take him e.g. for pizza. A child is not a machine that you discard when it no longer performs as well as you expect!
Let Žan enjoy life as he wants, I believe he will still go to the mountains, but not under the conditions you set for him. I advise you to stop being smart, take your "perfect family lineup" to some via ferrata and post sweaty selfies that we all love to see so much! 
No hard feelings.
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| Zebdi5. 09. 2018 10:08:59 |
@primoza, sooner or later everyone reaches the point of saturation if the intensity is too high. That's the time for change, for new things. If he enjoyed it during that period, it doesn't mean he will enjoy it endlessly. Speaking from personal experience.
And to link to what happens after quitting sports - nothing critical happened to me, even though in the last two years I've reduced sports activity to maybe 5% - i.e. practically quitting. The only consequence is... I don't know, +2kg. Probably need to look for reasons elsewhere too..
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| UB775. 09. 2018 10:32:56 |
No, you can't break through that narrow-mindedness...
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| Zebdi5. 09. 2018 10:38:13 |
Yes, but on that link I can't find anywhere a proven claim that quitting sports leads to serious health complications. I'd rather say the opposite applies - overdoing sports during physical development can leave harmful consequences. Even looking at some colleagues, no one shows excessive signs of quitting sports - okay, they gained a kilo or two, but that's it. That someone would be bedridden for weeks because of that... no chance. Of course it's clear that exercise has a beneficial effect on health, but that lack would have such a destructive impact - I find that hard to believe 
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| ana5. 09. 2018 11:14:34 |
škart has too many of his own life problems to obsessively deal with others as well
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| miri5. 09. 2018 12:34:29 |
@primoza-I don't know why you're replying in this thread.
You always and forever only you are right.
Raising a child is one of the hardest things in a parent's life. It doesn't always work out as you'd like. The worst thing that can happen to you is making differences between children.
Think about it a bit and take things more humanely.
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| dejanch5. 09. 2018 13:17:27 |
Personally I think it was about overdoing some training, forcing into the mountains. I actively do mountaineering and my son likes going with me too. Ten-year-old, so I plan tours accordingly. I don't drag him to scary heights, but we go nicely, whole family together. Not always. Often I go alone. A child is a child and has other needs besides mountains. You shouldn't force a child into just one thing, and even there achieve some norms.
Maybe it's worth asking too.. with all this talk.. sister is good, dad forces and rushes around.. Maybe the kid thought he can't keep up with you both..
Cool things down a bit, go somewhere easy, to some hill, not always rushing somewhere on time.
If I drove mine like that, he surely wouldn't want to go anymore. But like this he goes happily, and with the mountaineering club too..
Still worth thinking to what extent you can push a child, where the limit is..
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| ARS0NIST5. 09. 2018 13:31:46 |
How similar this is, mildly put, to my childhood. So much that it hurts. From the father's side conditioning, norms, obligations in a sport that didn't make me happy. And what distress a child feels who just wants to please such a parent. And for a while it still goes, until it makes you want to puke, and then a bit longer. After stopping that sport, rejection. Now, grown up, I struggle with depressive disorder, unresolved relationship with father will stay like that because of his death, and some things maybe couldn't be fixed that way. As someone wrote - take the child for pizza if he's not into your mountains and accept him without conditions, that can be his whole world. Please, think about it.
And for a moment I switched from reading to posting 
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| lepenatka5. 09. 2018 19:34:35 |
To all the kilometers written I'll add just a few words. Let children have their childhood.
Otherwise I agree with what UB77 and ARZONIST wrote.
Convincing the convinced.... won't succeed for us.
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| ejti5. 09. 2018 22:16:40 |
Primož, does Ajda and Žan like that the whole Slovenia reads and pontificates about their upbringing and that you've put them sort of in a shop window. For me in their place it would be very burdensome... They also have a right to privacy, you expose completely personal family relationships to the whole world.
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| iUnknown6. 09. 2018 08:57:56 |
I don't want to pontificate about this Kilimanjaro, but just wanted to mention I know some retirees from our area who are already around 70 years old. In my opinion they're not in any special condition, but still managed to get up there.
Since Kilimanjaro interested me too, I gathered quite a few travelogues on the net about it, to see how people prepared and what to watch out for. Among them were some who had no major mountain experience at all.
So this mentioned forcing kids into hard trainings in mountains seems to me more a psychological problem of their parents. It's true though that personally I'd go up there preferably with as good condition as possible.
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| korl6. 09. 2018 10:24:16 |
You think correctly Unknown.
Kili is a high mountain where if you rush unadvisedly you really easily get altitude sickness, with sensible ascent mostly no problems with that, in our group nobody had any.
Actually statistically half doesn't reach the summit (or as Julius said only around 40%). But whoever was there knows what kind of profile the approachers have. You see all sorts, people include this ascent as part of the whole trip, between safaris, Zanzibar, Ngorongoro, Serengeti ... those with exclusively mountaineering ambitions to reach summit are in the mass at most 20%. In our group only two of us, but all seven reached the top.
When after successful ascent you cool off a bit from euphoria, you can realistically admit that approachers on Kili on average are not one bit better prepared than those on Triglav, so 40% isn't bad result. Various Abramovichs and Navratilovas for whom summit hangs low of course lower the stats. A bit it improves by thinking it's a waste of extra cash for someone you've pre-condemned to be among losers.
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| zokipoki6. 09. 2018 10:54:10 |
Oh. It's true Primož exposed himself and family here, but that's no reason to immediately judge and criticize. After a couple days I came to conclusion that it's good he exposed such situation this way. He's not the only one and that's why he has balls. I think everyone has their problems, of all kinds, everyone carries their cross and no one is perfect. Primož didn't bury anyone and didn't steal anyone's childhood. But each of us makes mistakes, me too, sometimes every day. So I think if you can't advise him constructively, don't accuse him, because you're not innocent either, it shows in the impulse to comment. Need to see, accept and live on. We all can learn something from this. I wish Primož and all who are here or read this luck and health. Let's for a moment leave ourselves and devote time to loved ones.
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| Otto6. 09. 2018 16:36:57 |
I don't quite understand what the problem is or what interests primož. Anyway joy of mountains in children isn't connected to heights, speed of approach..., about which primož has written years ago and constantly added kids' ages and timelines. My sons a bit over 10 and a bit under 10 are completely satisfied with some shorter ascent and then deserved barley soup or similar at the hut, although on bigger ones even ascent to Triglav doesn't present a problem where he'd be out of breath.
But everyone best knows his own children and finds solutions. Maybe primož do some family outing just to Dobrča, Kriška gora or similar, tell jokes on the way, go slowly and observe surroundings and maybe Žan will feel like it again.
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| Otto6. 09. 2018 16:41:40 |
And also about Kilimanjaro and similar higher locations. Fitness itself doesn't have much connection with altitude sickness or it can even be an obstacle, because you climb too fast and there's no time for acclimatization. That's exactly why there were fatalities, not only among ordinary hikers or trekkers but also among top alpinists. And here is the main problem why some turn back or get taken away, and not in the ascent difficulty.
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| SamoK7. 01. 2019 00:31:11 |
But Žan was just photographing everything, so he's nowhere to be seen....?
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| SamoK7. 01. 2019 07:00:46 |
How three members? Did you put Žan somewhere in foster care?
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| SamoK7. 01. 2019 07:53:18 |
So "in the full family lineup" doesn't mean in the full family lineup, but "everyone except Žan who couldn't come with us this time"?
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